You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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