The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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