if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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