Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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