so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize