You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
