I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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