you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
whose parrot is this?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize