Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
