I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize