My first STD was from a foam party
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
i'm really worried about him.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.