We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
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i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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