so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
