I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
