Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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