I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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