Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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