i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
