i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I don't deserve a penis
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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