Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
