If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
