Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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