I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
