Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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