i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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