you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
