Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
