I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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