i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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