I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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