oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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