You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
