This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
