i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
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Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
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Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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