I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
