Define "chronic" masturbator.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
