I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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