Dual....:-)
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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