Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
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