I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
