wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
i now understand why vodka
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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