I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
