Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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