You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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