these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
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Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
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He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
so much tequila, so little girl.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled