u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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