You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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