I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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