I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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