omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize