You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Randomize
