hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
