Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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