ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We're too hungover to prance.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
