Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......

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(309): View more from Illinois

why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(281): View more from Texas

okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.

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(512): View more from Texas

I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.

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(434): View more from Virginia

I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?

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