I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH