i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
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I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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