You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
