I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
