There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
