how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize