Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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