That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize