If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
When did angry sex become our thing?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
