So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
